Everyone has their favorite deities.
The majority out there seem to be down with either Jesus or Allah but there is a huge selection of deities to choose from. Let’s be real…who can pick just one, amirite? They’re like Pokemon but with celestial cosmic super juice powered by a bunch of evolved apes on a backwater mudball spaceship that’s being flung through space.
DEITIES! Gods and Goddesses of old! Deities are powered by belief. They are real at the same time they are fiction. Who among you has seen a god, truly? I’m sure many have had a feeling of some comforting or foreboding presence near them at some point in their life. I’m sure a ton of you have had dreams where you’ve talked to a supposed god. I’m sure most of you have eaten some heavy fucking psychedelics and brought one of those magical imps into existence. It happens. Otherwise, this whole Jesus thing wouldn’t be such a big deal. “Oh, look. Paul’s telling his story again. Dude eats peyote all the time. Such a twat.”
Okay. Got a little sidetracked there.
This is my list of Top 5 Deities (in no particular order) and why I think they’re so badass. I’m sure you have your favorites as well. Be sure to put them in the comments. Oh, and if you’re a monotheist, please feel free to express your rage at my belief that your religion is a fucking joke. There are about 7.3 billion gods and goddesses out there because every human mind perceives their belief system from their own unique perspective. I can guaranteeÃ‚Â you that you don’t believe the same exact thing that your pastor/priest/imam/rabbi/etc. believes. Also, American Christians, if Jesus was even real the son of a bitch wasn’t white you dumb shits. On to the list!
While Ganesha doesn’t look like a badass, I must remind you that looks can be quite deceiving. He’s the son of Shiva and Parvati and brother to Kartikeya, god of war and victory. Shiva beheaded Ganesha the first time they met and he’s still around to tell the tale. Vishnu buried a magical god ax into him and it only broke his tusks. He’s literally one of the most revered gods in the world which means he has a ton of juju behind him. Finally, he is the Remover of Obstacles. Worshipping or invoking this god is very beneficial indeed.
This dude created writing. He came down from the 4th Dimension, looked at us like we were a bunch of dumb shits (newsflash: we were), and gave us the gift of written communication so we could write such beautiful pieces of fiction like American Gods by Neil Gaiman, some of the Penthouse Forums submissions, and the Holy Bible. Usually revered as an Egyptian God, it’s rumored that he once lorded over the mystical land of Atlantis and helped create humanity as we recognize it today. He is also known as the god of magick, wisdom, and the moon.
This Mayan goddess of the Moon will not take your shit. She had to deal with her grandfather killing her for having a relationship with Kinich Ahau, the Sun God. She came back to life only to deal with some domestic abuse fuckery from said Sun God. She stood up for herself and is now a protector of pregnant women everywhere. She’s a feminist entity before feminism was even a word.
The Chaos Goddess of the primordial seas which gave birth to all the Babylonian gods and all reality. I mean, really, what else needs to be said.
And then there is Loki, the Trickster God of Mischief. Loki gets into all sorts of shit with his shapeshifting and messing with the other gods of the Norse pantheon. He is the father of Hel, Fenrir, and the world serpent, Jormungandr. He likes to play games and he makes me smile with his wicked delights.
There are a lot more out there.
If you want, go check out Godchecker.com. Fantastic website and chock full of mythological goodness (not to mention it’s full of sigils.)
What are your favorite gods? Tell us in the comments below!